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1271801097760.jpg (96 kb, 322x447)
97868 No.207374     Report  

You know, she said she can eat a lot and she doesn't gain weight, right?
So she eats huge servings and her weight stays the same, but the food has to go somewhere.

I think her turds must be massive.

  No.207375   Report                

That's not how the digestive system works.

  No.207376   Report                
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51823

She works out all the time, probably burns up a lot of calories.

Or, she was totally trolling Yomi just for the hell of it.

  No.207379   Report                

>>207375
It's not? If you eat more you won't poop more?

  No.207381   Report                

>>207379
The truth is, nobody really knows what poop is or where it comes from.

  No.207382   Report                

>>207381

It comes from Uranus.

ba-dump pish

  No.207384   Report                
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53650

>>207382

  No.207387   Report                
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All the weight goes to her boobs

  No.207389   Report                

>>207379
Seriously? Not anywhere near as much as you would think. If you eat well (and by the looks of it she does) and exercise a lot, I think you'll find that you won't poop too much at all.

At the extreme end of this, a couple of mates of mine who joined the army a while back said that during boot camp (basic training, whatever it's called) where they were constantly exercising, they hardly pooped at all.

  No.207392   Report                

Serious competitive swimmers eat CRAZY amounts of food. They have to. They burn a lot of calories

I don't know if Kagura is as hardcore as a serious collegiate or olympic-level swimmer, but she seems to want to get to that level and her training regimen is pretty heavy...I doubt she's eating as much as the people who do nothing but swim for a living, and swim hundreds of training laps a day, but she certainly has to eat a lot more than Osaka or Yomi would.

I'm sure her deuces are normal.

  No.207393   Report                

I can say from personal experience that I have taken my largest, greasiest dumps on lazy days where I have done hardly anything, not when I was actually doing something physical and using those calories.

More importantly, I want to know of what use this information could possibly be. Will it stagnate in all our minds for years to come, never revealing itself except at some time where everyone will judge you for deducing the size of a cartoon character's turds? Could this information perhaps be put to some use, resulting in more realistic scat fanart in the future? Only time will tell.

  No.207397   Report                

>>207381

Of course we know what poop is--it's undigested food, plus a lot of intestinal bacteria.

vc: stat

  No.207398   Report                

>>207397

Much of it is actually dead red blood cells. That's where the brown color comes from, and why it's green in babies (they haven't had many dead cells yet).

  No.207399   Report                

>>207398
To clarify - the brown colour comes from bile, produced by the liver and injected into the digestive tract in the duodenum (after the stomach) to help break down fats. The colour of bile in turn comes from bilirubin, produced from breaking down haemoglobin from recycled red blood cells.

If you ever have problems with gall stones (I did years ago) you can sometimes produce "chalk stools" - poo without the brown colour because it contains no bile. Freaky shit.

  No.207400   Report                
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>>207399

>poo without the brown colour
  No.207401   Report                

>>207400
Green and white are the only colors of shit I've seen that isn't brown (the later not affected by your diet but leaving it out to dry).

If you like to seen more variations of facile matter, please check out ratemypoo.com

  No.207402   Report                

>>207401
Some of those "Black" soft drinks can also turn it a bright forest green because of the dyes.

  No.207404   Report                

Are we really talking about poop?

  No.207405   Report                

>>207404

Need to talk about something until the next chapter of Yotsuba.

  No.207410   Report                

>>207404
>>207405
It's what Azuma would have wanted...

  No.207412   Report                
1271924050733.jpg (0 bytes, 320x240)
>brown
>poop
  No.207416   Report                

sage

  No.207427   Report                

>>207374
fuck, no wonder I stopped visiting this board.

  No.207428   Report                

>>207427

Wait, they've posted about Kagura's turds before?

  No.207442   Report                

>>207428
This is, iirc, our third thread about poop since the move.

  No.207451   Report                

>>207442
Really?

I only recall this (nsfw but hilarious all the same).
http://fetish.iiichan.net/res/52.html#5350

  No.207466   Report                

My dad always said that you can learn a lot about a person by checking the reading material that person keeps in the bathroom, but I think you can learn even more by analysing stool samples.

Anyway, if we analyse some poop and discover it contains unusual amounts of octopus balls, that has to be Osaka's poop, right? If the poop contains Sakaki, then that's Kamineko's poop, etc.

We are what we eat, as they say.

  No.207467   Report                

>>207466
I'm curious about Yomi's since she seems to have the most irregular diet/eating habits.

  No.207468   Report                

>>207467
Well, her samples would contain large amounts of regret plus a feeling of failure and self-disappointment.

  No.207470   Report                
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75119

>>207374
Sage.

  No.207473   Report                

Despite the unsavory (heh) topic, I did learn alot about the digestive system. Thanks, azunymous.

  No.207480   Report                

>>207470
Everyone stop what you're doing and never look at this thread again.

It's been saged

  No.207489   Report                

>>207402
Makes me glad I gave up soda for a while.
What about piss color? Mine is almost lemonade looking, but it smells like popcorn.
Sometimes it's crystal clear and smells ...like popcorn.

  No.207490   Report                
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>>207489

  No.207492   Report                

>>207489
The color of your urine is determined by how concentrated it is. The more water you've been drinking, the more dilute it will be. I don't know about the popcorn thing.

  No.207496   Report                

>>207489
I've noticed the popcorn smell thing too. Mostly at the bathrooms at the movie theater. I figured it was something in the popcorn topping that was being excreted in urine.

I've noticed the same smell in other public bathrooms too though, so I'm not sure what it is. I've never had it myself.

vc: pefeing

  No.207497   Report                

>>207496
Could be some ingredient that's relatively common, but not normally added in high amounts.

  No.207501   Report                

Sage.

  No.207503   Report                

>>207501
Keep up the good work.

  No.207505   Report                

>>207492
Another fun fact: Excessive amounts of B vitamins will make your urine bright yellow (almost to the point of being neon green) and make it smell horrible.

>>207501
You're really just encouraging us now.

  No.207506   Report                

My dogs used to poop bright orange and yellow.
What's up with that?

  No.207507   Report                
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>>207506
Your dog found your crayons.
Take it to the vet if you think there's something wrong with it.

>>207501
A mere sage cannot stop the potty talk.
I admit I didn't like the topic at first, but fuck it. Everyone Poops!

>>207505
Another fun fact: You can turn your urine blue.

  No.207508   Report                

>>207507
Apples poop too?
I had no idea.

  No.207509   Report                

>>207508
Everybody poops.

When a worm comes out of an apple through a hole, that's the apple pooping.

  No.207510   Report                
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>>207509
You just blew my goddamn mind.

  No.207513   Report                
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>>207510
I did not mean to blow your mind
but that shit happens to me... all of the time.

For example, think about this: You cannot prove I am not a cat walking on a keyboard somewhere, randomly and mindlessly pressing keys, typing and posting things that by mere, incredible chance, are English words.
There! Boom! Mind blown!

Also, poop & Azumanga.

  No.207516   Report                
1272168829543.jpg (0 bytes, 1196x1080)

>>207513
There you go again with the blowing of my mind. I'm utterly astounded.

>>207515

  No.207519   Report                

>>207513
Is there more where this came from?

  No.207520   Report                

>>207519
You mean the picture? It was the latest Azumanga pic posted on pixiv when I went there.

  No.207521   Report                

>>207509
This whole time I thought that meant that the apple was horny and wanted to rub one out.

  No.207522   Report                

>>207521
I always thought that apple was there because when an apple rots, it gives off waste products.
Thus, poop.

  No.207523   Report                

>>207520
Alright, I guess I haven't been to pixiv in a few days. It looked like a doujin back cover, so I thought it might have been from a set of scans.

  No.207524   Report                

>>207523
Yeah, it does look like the cover of a book now that you mention it. With the bar code and the white background and all.

  No.207545   Report                

What about the girls' respective titty tumor sizes? Any guesses?

  No.207553   Report                

Cancer-fetish thread NOW!

  No.207559   Report                

>>207553

Did someone say cancer fetish thread?

Kagura had a titty tumor.

It was surgically removed, and her breasts were augmented to make them look similar in size. Later, at night, her dad sneaked into the biological waste facility, dug through the bags of tumors, and found Kagura's tumor.

Upon arriving home, he cooked it and ate it, so that a part of his daughter would be inside him always.

  No.207564   Report                
1272325339680.jpg (15 kb, 281x211)
15439

I wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black...

  No.207565   Report                

They'll grow back and he'll have more reminders.

  No.207566   Report                

>>207399
Lately, my faeces are a dark green tone. Iy has been like that for weeks, should I worry?
>>207564
Lol

  No.207573   Report                

Are we really talking about eating tumours?

  No.207574   Report                

Is Chileanon really posting in a thread in /azu/?

  No.207575   Report                

>>207574
Yes. That, or a cat is walking on a keyboard.
Anyway, I never thought I would say this, but can we go back to the poop?

I didn't even know cancer could be a fetish until >>207553

  No.207576   Report                

Can you get cancer from poop? Can poop get cancer?

  No.207577   Report                

>>207576
Deep questions indeed.

I have one: Can a tumour poop?
Intriguing...

  No.207578   Report                

>>207577
maybe it's the stuff they poop that can actually kill you

  No.207579   Report                
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68065

HOW CAN YOU?!

(old meme is old, etc.)

  No.207583   Report                

>>207577
EVERYBODY. POOPS.

EVERYBODY.

  No.207586   Report                

>>207583

There's an exhibit in the Mutter Museum that I think you should see.

  No.207587   Report                

>>207583
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfKMsarScME&feature=related

>>207575
I think there's an actual word or phrase for it. Trying to find it on TV Tropes....

  No.207597   Report                

>>207587
Fetish fuel?
High octane nightmare fuel?

  No.207604   Report                

>>207586
I was there last fall with the wife & kids. Weird place. It took me three weeks to get over the psychosomatic illnesses...

  No.208150   Report                

>>207597
Shitting dick tumors?

  No.208153   Report                

What about a fetish for tumours that cause shit to pour out of your belly button? (Brown lint)

  No.208158   Report                

>>208153
Please, please, you're all getting off topic.

The point of this thread is simple.
How big are Kagura's droppings?
I mean like, if you were tracking her in the woods, how would you know it was Kagura droppings and not Sakaki or Yomi droppings?

That is the question.

  No.208159   Report                

>>208158
Kagura's scare cats away, are massive, contain traces of chlorine and are tanned. Or something.

  No.208160   Report                

Ovarian tumours must be delicious.

  No.208161   Report                
>I mean like, if you were tracking her in the woods, how would you know it was Kagura droppings and not Sakaki or Yomi droppings?

Just had a brilliant idea for a doujin.

  No.208169   Report                
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51148

>>208161

Sorry, but "Yukari is Free" is well along now.

  No.208187   Report                

>>208169
Somehow I feel I should be offended, but at the same time I know there's no logical counter to that.
Instead, I shall simply state that I will be listening to Linkin Park as a direct result of your statement, and pray that God has mercy on your soul.

  No.208188   Report                

>>208169
>>208187
Eh. I laughed.

  No.208189   Report                

So...are we doing the shitting dick tittytumours or not?

  No.208190   Report                

>>208189
Please, please Don't!

  No.208191   Report                

>>208190

>>Please, please do it!!!
  No.208200   Report                
1274079824967.jpg (81 kb, 1280x960)
82761

Hey, I know!
Let's talk about poop!
Poop is funny, right?

Look at Sakaki! She drank poo and died!

  No.208202   Report                

>>208200
Well, that's Sakaki for you, she'll try anything if it's in a package with a cute animal on it. Wait till she finds out about Hello Kitty vibrators...

  No.208205   Report                

>>208200
>>208202
She had a brain tumour that compelled her to do it.

  No.208206   Report                

>>208205

A sentient tumor that tells you to do things?

Ghastly.

  No.208207   Report                

>>208206
It's not a tumor!
Not a tumor, at all.

  No.208208   Report                

>>208207
Oh, right...it wasn't a tumour per se, it was an underdeveloped fetus with a scat fetish. Thx for pointing that out, sir.

  No.208210   Report                
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>>208208

  No.208211   Report                

>>208210
Aww...don't feel bad! Now we can have a coathanger thread!

  No.208213   Report                

Mah chikinz!

  No.208219   Report                

A cancer-fetus-fetish thread nao pls?

  No.208221   Report                

Desu?

  No.208224   Report                

Bump

  No.208229   Report                

You all wanted this thread in the first place!

  No.208230   Report                

Oh lawdie...

  No.208231   Report                

>>208229
This thread killed Dio.

  No.208234   Report                

>>208231
Who's Dio?

  No.208236   Report                

>>208234
Holy Diver: The Game
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjgZU6WAy3w

  No.208243   Report                

>>208234

GTFO. Now.

The door is on your right.

  No.208246   Report                

>>208243
Now now, don't get upset.
I'm sure he was trolling. Who could not know who Dio was?
Cancer killed him, so tumors aren't funny anymore...

  No.208254   Report                

That mofo must have been psychic.

  No.208296   Report                

Maybe we should start a psychic excrement thread!

  No.208820   Report                
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65852
  No.208824   Report                
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>>208820

  No.208825   Report                
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>>208824

Tomo's Magical BM!

  No.208872   Report                
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>>208820
>>208824
...at first I was glad to see this artist finally draw something azu-related again, but I didn't exactly expect this.
(Then again, she also did the one where Tomo gets natto poured over her face)

  No.208874   Report                

>>208872
I remember hearing a lot of complaints a few years ago that ADV didn't preserve this joke in their sub/dub of the series, but after watching this scene again (and reading the raw) I'm pretty sure the "joke" here was imagined by the fansubber. Same goes for the supposed "Chinsuko" = "Chinko" joke.

  No.208879   Report                

>>208874
I didn't actually make the association until watching the subbed DVDs recently—and then only because Yomi blushes when Tomo says "chinsuko". (Even with that, the ukoncha/unko connection seems a bit far-fetched...unless you just figure it's Tomo-logic at work, I suppose.)

  No.208881   Report                

>>208824

The sequel is Tomo calling Yomi to brag about it, and Yomi getting angry at her. Then, Yomi goes into the bathroom to observe her own excrement (apparently she didn't flush) and bemoans the bad day she's going to have.

  No.208884   Report                
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38843
  No.208885   Report                
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>>208879
>>208874
That makes me wonder what the joke is supposed to be in the first place, nothing more than Tomo grabbing a random item and repeating its name over and over again, à la 'Sata Andagi'?
I agree the ADV manga translation doesn't mention any possible double meaning.

  No.208887   Report                

>>208885

Well, what else would the joke be? "Chinko" does indeed mean penis...

  No.208888   Report                

>>208887
Yes, but despite what the fan subber's notes say, I don't believe Tomo was trying to make it sound like "Chinko." I think she was just being obnoxious. In the raw manga there's no hint that she's trying to make any sort of double entendre or pun, and the writing for the word is correct the whole time.

  No.208892   Report                

>>208888

I'll freely admit that I am not a fluent speaker of Japanese. However, I consider myself pretty good at picking up on inflections and tone of voice when listening to Japanese, and I must admit that I agree with the "fansubbers" notes regarding chinsuko/chinko. I actually thought the same thing when I watched AZU raw, before I ever saw the ADV subs. I also think that the alternative (that she's simply repeating "chinsuko" over and over again at random, with no pun) seems a bit pointless. That just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm not sure the Manga is a reliable source to resolve this. After all, a spoken pun is difficult to replicate in text, not to mention that the anime differs from the manga in many areas, so who's to say that the manga contained no "chinko" joke, but the animators took a little license and add the pun even though it didn't exist in the manga.

I think the most reliable way to figure out what's up with this is to ask some Japanese people about it. After all, they would be much more qualified to comment on this than you or I.

  No.208894   Report                
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58764

>>208892

>I also think that the alternative (that she's simply repeating "chinsuko" over and over again at random, with no pun) seems a bit pointless. That just doesn't make sense to me.

Have some SATA ANDAGI. SATA ANDAGI. SATA ANDAGI.

  No.208895   Report                

>>208894

Yes, but that's OSAKA. Not TOMO. It makes sense for Osaka to do that. It does not make sense for Tomo.

  No.208896   Report                

>>208895
Furthermore, you can't understand the difference. Once you acknowledge, I will be here to accept your admission. Sata Andagi ist superior to Unko. I ate both and can attest.

  No.208898   Report                
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>>208895>>208896
Let's be clear here;

It does not make sense for Tomo to purposely be obnoxious for no good reason?

  No.208900   Report                

>>208896

What? That makes no sense! Acknowledge what? I wasn't aware this suddenly turned into a Sata Andagii vs. Chinsuko taste contest?

>>208898

Oh, it makes perfect sense for Tomo to be obnoxious. It's simply the manner in which she does it. I don't buy that Tomo is repeating "Chinsuko" simply to be obnoxious. That's too simple of an explanation. I don't think that fits. In my opinion, the "chinko" pun makes a lot more sense, especially since in Japanese it really does sound like "chinko" in her pronunciation. I think it makes a lot more sense for her to be making a "dick" joke rather than simply repeting the word over and over again. (Unlike Osaka, who seems to have a bizzare fascination for "Sata Andagii")

Then again, continuing this argument doesn't really make any sense. We can keep repeating our respective opinions but never get anywhere with it. We need additional information.

Anyone know any Japanese sites where this may have been discussed?

  No.208901   Report                

>>208885
Yomi did blush for a split second when she turned around. It wouldn't make too much for her to blush if Tomo was being annoying.

However, it could mean that Tomo was just trying to simply be annoying and Yomi just happened to hear "penis"

  No.208902   Report                

>>208901

And if Yomi just happened to hear 'penis', then the joke's the same even if Tomo wasn't deliberately trying to stretch out or repeat the word until it sounded like it. It still makes more sense than Tomo trying the same joke Osaka was making unknowingly, by repeating the same thing until even Tomo got annoyed... as Osaka was doing it due to honest Osaka-style fascination, where as Tomo appeared to be trying to get a response out of Yomi.

  No.208903   Report                

>>208900

>especially since in Japanese it really does sound like "chinko" in her pronunciation.

Not really... I can hear her enunciate the 's' sound very clearly each time she says it.

>>208892

>I think the most reliable way to figure out what's up with this is to ask some Japanese people about it

Would this clip of that scene on Nico Video suffice?
http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm6537923
Pretty much all the user comments are "ちんすこうwww" (chinsuko, lol) but there's not a single "chinko."
There are also a lot of comments that say 飛ばされた and 飛んだ(literally 'I was blown away' and 'I flew' respectively, although I don't understand their meaning unless it's meant to be their response to the video's editing trick/gag).

I'll admit though, I still don't understand why Yomi blushes.

  No.208905   Report                

>>208903

Does that really count as a blush, though? It seems so paltry, almost like it's just something the animators threw in to add color.

  No.208907   Report                
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I made us a new banner.

  No.208908   Report                

>>208903

>>Not really... I can hear her enunciate the 's' sound very clearly each time she says it.

I can hear the 's' sound too, but it's quieter and more subdued than it ought to be, in my opinion. I have heard Japanese say the word "chinsuko" before, and the emphasis on the "su" was much stronger than when Tomo says it.

>>Would this clip of that scene on Nico Video suffice?

It's not bad, but unfortunatley it doesn't really give us any new information. It is true that nobody wrote "dick" in the comments, but that doesn't mean much. A lack of proof is not the same thing as proof to the contrary. This is why I suggested ASKING a Japanese person about it. That way you get a YES or a NO answer--there is no abiguity. Here we've got some fans saying the word "chinsuko" a lot, but that doesn't preclude the dick joke. It may be so obvious to them that they're not even bothering to write it down.

>>I'll admit though, I still don't understand why Yomi blushes.

...could it be.....a DICK joke perhaps?

  No.208912   Report                

If nothing else, a dick joke just doesn't really seem like Azuma's style.
Boob jokes, sure. He's not particularly subtle about those either. But a dick joke seems just a little too low brow for him.

  No.208917   Report                
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33935
  No.208918   Report                

(屮ಥ Дಥ)屮

  No.208920   Report                
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28932

>>208912

>>But a dick joke seems just a little too low brow for him.
  No.208922   Report                

>>208920
Does Nami have a dick? Never actually read that as Azuma couldn't draw tits back then.

  No.208923   Report                

>>208922

I think you missed the point.

If Azuma is willing to draw such a simplistic H-manga, I don't think that dick jokes are below him.

  No.208924   Report                

>>208923
Sex is a natural thing, though. Sure, it can be raunchy, but there is nothing "low" about it (unless you're into kids or something).

  No.208925   Report                
1276526533061.png (139 kb, 943x645)
142520
>>...it's a pun.
>>...
>>...a pun?
  No.208926   Report                

>>208924

I never claimed that there was anything unnatural--or wrong--with sex.

The point is that if Azuma is willing to draw a low-brow sex comic like that, then I doubt that a dick pun would be unacceptable to him.

  No.208927   Report                

>>208924

Sex and porn are two different things.

  No.208928   Report                

>>208926
Personally I'm for the "Dick pun implication added in the anime" theory.
With that it wouldn't matter what's above or below Azuma's level of humor

  No.208933   Report                

>>208925
Heh...okay, that's something (not completely) different. Source?

  No.208935   Report                

>>208925

THIS IS AN EX-CHIYO-DAD!

  No.208937   Report                

>>208933
The proverbial 1000 hours in Paint (well, SAI).

  No.208938   Report                

>>208925
That... is AWESOME.

>>208926
Not so much that Azuma himself as above them, but I think he would hold his current works to a higher standard than that.

  No.208943   Report                

>>208937
Then bravo on a gag well executed.

  No.210534   Report                

Remember the time this thread killed Dio?

  No.210535   Report                

>>210534
Who's Dio? Was he that pedophile who used to post here?

  No.210536   Report                

>>210535
Yeah, that's right. Jailrape, wasn't it?

  No.210541   Report                

>>207374

>I think her turds must be massive.

'My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odour than a hot biscuit.'

-- Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (Sir Anthony Hopkins), "Road to Wellville"

>>207399
>>207400

>>poo without the brown colour

One of the old chestnuts: Whatever happened to white dog poo? Word has it that employees of Apple were sent out to pick up them all, so they could be turned into iPods.

X3

  No.210543   Report                

>>208925

Ms. Yomi Praline enters a pet shop.

Yomi: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Y: 'Ello, Miss?

TomOwner: What do you mean "miss"?

Y: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

T: We're closin' for lunch.

Y: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this cat that wishes it were a bird what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

T: Oh yes, the, uh, the Japanese Orange ...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Y: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

T: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Y: Look, matey, I know a dead Chiyo-dad when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

T: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable cat-wishes-it-were-a-bird, the Japanese Orange, idn'it, ay? Beautiful fur!

Y: The fur don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

T: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Y: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage):

'Ello, Mister Norio Wakamoto! I've got a lovely fresh tomato for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)

T: There, he moved!

Y: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

T: I never!!

Y: Yes, you did!

T: I never, never did anything...

Y: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO NORIO!!!!!

Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes cat-thing out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Y: Now that's what I call a dead cat-that-wished-it-were-a-bird.

T: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Y: STUNNED?!?

T: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Japanese Oranges stun easily, major.

Y: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That cat-that-wished-it-were-a-bird is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged conversation with Sakaki.

T: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Y: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

T: The Japanese Orange prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable cat-that-wishes-it-were-a-bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely fur!

Y: Look, I took the liberty of examining that cat-that-wished-it-were-a-bird when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

T: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its mouth, and VOOM!

Y: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this cat-that-wished-it-were-a-bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

T: No no! 'E's pining!

CY: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This cat-that-wished-it-were-a-bird is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-CAT-THAT-WISHED-IT-WERE-A-BIRD!!

(pause)

T: Well, I'd better replace it, then.

(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)

T: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of cat-that-wished-they-were-birds.

Y: I see. I see, I get the picture.

T: I got a seaslug.

(pause)

Y: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?

T: Nnnnot really.

Y: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

  No.210546   Report                

WTFAIR?

  No.210548   Report                

>>210543

>pining for the fjords.

Pining for raspberry heaveh?

  No.210551   Report                

>>210548
*heaven...

  No.210638   Report                

>>210535
Dio was a pedo? I don't think so.

  No.210682   Report                

"In heaven...everything is fine."

  No.210683   Report                
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  No.210694   Report                

>>210543

>>>>>>>T: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
>>>>probably pining for the fjords.
>>pining for the fjords.

I know where you go at night, and it ain't pretty.

  No.213553   Report                

不良のガキジャーナリスト。

  No.213579   Report                
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30008

holy crap, this thread.

  No.213597   Report                

>>210694

>fjords
>I know where you go at night, and it ain't pretty.

Slartibartfast isn't exactly an oil painting, but that's no reason to refer to him as not pretty! He invites me to his office at Magrathea, and shows off his award he got for Norway, that's all.

You're not a frood, and you definitely don't know where your towel is.

  No.215786   Report                

Bamp'd.

  No.216049   Report                

Oh...

  No.216286   Report                

Crap.



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